Partner Playbook: How to Support a Partner in Recovery (Without Burning Out)

You can support a partner in recovery without turning into their cop or counsellor. Your job: steady ground, clear limits, simple routines, and honest check-ins. You don’t have to carry it all or get it perfect— Keep the plan moving. Need a hand building your home plan? → Book a free Game-Plan Call.

What “support a partner in recovery” is (and isn’t)

Is:

• Showing up in the present: food, sleep, rides, quiet time after shifts.

• Guardrails: money rules, phone rules, “call-first” before big decisions.

• Accountability without shame: “what helped / what’s next” check-ins.

Isn’t:

• Policing, spying, or diagnosing.

• Doing all the emotional labour while they do none.

• Ignoring your own rest, therapy, or boundaries.

Want help defining roles? → Ask a private question or book a call.

Red / Yellow / Green: when to support a partner in recovery, when to escalate

• Green: going to work, sleeping most nights, honest about cravings.Action: Maintain routines, conduct weekly reviews, and celebrate small wins.

• Yellow: missed shifts, lying, new withdrawal signs, big mood swings. Action: tighten rules, add therapy/doctor check-in, notify coach.

• Red: self-harm talk, dangerous withdrawal, violence, driving impaired.Action: safety first—ER/911 as needed; therapy/medical leads; coaching pauses.

Five quick scripts to support a partner in recovery

Use short, calm words. Text if live talk gets heated.

1. Craving moment: “I hear you. Let’s run the 10-minute reset, then decide.”

2. Boundary check: “I’m all-in on support. I won’t argue while anyone’s impaired.”

3. Money line: “We stick to the card limits we set. We can review on Sunday.”

4. Honesty reset: “Thanks for telling me. What helped today—and what’s next, small?”

5. Refusal of chaos: “I love you. I’m stepping out to cool off. We’ll talk at 7.”

(Write these on a card. Fast beats perfect.)

A weekly layout to support a partner in recovery (simple + sustainable)

• Sun (Tune-Up Hour, 60 min): meals, rides, sleep blocks, cash caps, trigger map.

• Mon–Thu: the basics—protein + water after shift, 2-min stretch, straight to the sleep routine.

• Fri: “Reset Circuit” if the week was rough (breathing → shower → short walk → 3-line note).

• Sat: 30-min “us” time (no alcohol triggers): coffee, walk, grocery, plan the fun.

• Coach/Therapist cadence: alternate weeks, or bi-weekly therapy + weekly coaching.

Want us to build your one-page plan? → Book a free Game-Plan Call.

Home rules that actually support a partner in recovery

• Money: daily cash cap; cards locked after 8pm; big buys require a “call-first.”

• Phone: Do Not Disturb after sleep anchor; no arguing by text after 9pm.

• Route: avoid trigger stops for 2 weeks; add a cheap “reward” on the safer route.

• Kitchen: two proteins + two carbs packed for shifts; water rule (1 before midnight, 1 by end of shift).

• People: one “call-first” contact on the fridge. Use it.

When there’s a slip: how to support a partner in recovery without spiralling

• Don’t: lecture, bargain, or chase.

• Do: safety check → water → sleep → text the coach/therapist in the morning.

• Then: tighten one rule (money, route, or phone), not all of them. Small > dramatic.

Need a 24-hour reset plan tailored to your schedule? → Book a Game-Plan Call.

Your oxygen mask: how YOU stay steady while you support a partner in recovery

• One non-negotiable for you (sleep window, gym class, meeting, therapy).

• A friend on speed-dial for you (not just them).

• A monthly budget cap for care so you don’t drown financially.

• Permission to say: “I won’t discuss this right now. 7pm is fine.”

Want a script pack for tough moments? → Ask a private question.

Using coaching + therapy together to support a partner in recovery

• Therapy (healing lead): trauma, depression/anxiety, relapse processing.

• Coaching (execution lead): weekly plan, routines, accountability, family rules.

• Workflow: therapy note → share 1–2 takeaways with coach (with consent) → coach turns them into actions.

We can coordinate—with your permission. → Book a free Game-Plan Call.

You can’t fix everything in a week. But you can make this week steadier. Ready for a simple plan that fits your life and work?→ Book a free Game-Plan Call • or ask a private question.